Nonsense

Above, you can see Adam managing his “secret account” online.  He won’t tell me what kind of secret account it is, but it’s probably something along the lines of a secret bank account.  Speaking of accounts, we opened a joint cheque-ing and savings account yesterday for our practice jobs so we don’t have to get paid under the table.  And we discovered that the interest rate is 5.5% holy cow.  The maximum balance is 5 million dollars, so if anyone wants a guaranteed 4% back on their liquid assets at the end of the year, we’ll hedge fund (“hedge fund”?) your money for you at a 1.5% commission rate.  Howz that sound??  Good??  You think I’m kidding but I’m not.  Why would I.  Anyway, the stark difference in bank account interest rates falls into the category of differences (USvsAU) in profits.  Henceforth, other differences we’ve noticed are differences (USvsAU) in profits for the environment.  For example, every single toilet around here has the half-flush option.  Also, all of the outlets have these switches called “power points”, the purpose of which is to eliminate phantom drain/”phantom drain”.  Additionally, all types of plastic (not just those with a neck) and cardboard are recycled here in Melbourne.  Furthermore, almost all of the chickens we’ve eaten so far have not only been affordable and delicious, they have also been free-range and antibiotic-free.  Not only all of these things, but also, there are tons more diesel fueled cars here, which means they burn way cleaner and get way better gas mileage.  Just ask Adam.  

More to come on “practice jobs” later.

Disclaimer:  This post does not have an anti-America tone to it.  We love America.  America has lots of things Australia doesn’t as well; just not power points and high bank account interest rates.